Category: PTSD

We All Need to Account

walkingsurvivor88Leave a comment

It’s easy to use whatever bad shit that happened to us as a reason for being an asshole.

”I’m a shitty parent because my parents were.”

”I’m abusive in my relationships because that is what I know.”

I miss the drama, I do. The problem is I’m getting a little bit better each day. Some days I have set backs, but even on those days it’s a little bit better.

I would like to think if there’s a God, then he had a hand. If I think that then I have to ask why I had this hand to start with.

If we are all created in his image what the fuck is wrong with this dude? Why is everyone following him?

i would ask my super dogmatic MIL but she would have to put down the Bible and tell me why he kids talk about how she tried to poison their dad, try to kill herself, or why she chased him around trying to kill him with a knife.

I could ask that but have no energy for the run around.

She is not accountable.

Neither am I most of the time if I can avoid my shit.

But I need to account. Everything I’ve done maters.

Everything I haven’t maters also.

 

We need to account for who we are.

I Prefer Uppers Not Downers

walkingsurvivor88Leave a comment

I think this is the dawn of where we’re at in society.

“I prefer uppers not downers” was said to me by someone close to an overdose. She was taking pain killers, Xanax and Valium.

I literally prefer uppers so haven’t ever taken those 3 amigos together at once.

I’ve broken bones and pain killers were obviously necessary.

My shrink is well informed of my drinking so the rest are out of the picture.

“My doctor loves me. He gives me all these things”

Yea he helped your addiction and is making money.

She says she’s never done street drugs.

This is your addiction and privilege reasoning with you.

This is you telling yourself you don’t have a real problem because the good doctor gave them to you.

Not the dope man on the corner.

If your fantasy land was reality you would know the “dope man on the corner” is just some dude selling drugs for whatever reason.

You would know you have a dope man. You just call him Doctor.

“They help my anxiety”

What’s the first rule of bullshit?

Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.

What are we teaching our children?

What did we learn from our parents?

Who are we?

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